Marriages
are rarely matches made by the choice of the betrothed and
do not require their consent. It was nothing more than a contractual
agreement between two houses in the hopes that one, if not
both, houses have something to gain.
Divorce is forbidden by church
law; however, annulment on grounds of infertility, consanguinity,
adultery, or baseborn ancestry is legal -- and simple desertion
is not a rare practice.
The medieval age of consent
is seven in some places, but a marriage could be nullified
if the couple were married if the girl was under twelve or
the boy under fourteen.
The marriage process begins
with a betrothal that is a formal contract and is rather similar
in wording to a wedding ceremony. In fact, the Church has
a difficult time preventing couples from beginning marital
relations when they were in fact merely engaged, due to two
differing ideas on simple wording of the contract.
Before the Reformation, marriage
was a sacrament but, as its basis was consensual (consent
between the parties) in canon law (Dignum est 1152), the church
did not have control over marriage. Marriage formation was
possible by two processes outside the church: words of present
consent between the parties (verba de presenti such 'I do
take thee for my wife') and words of future consent (verba
de futuro such as 'I will take thee for my wife'), the latter
when consummated by sexual intercourse.
Marriage in the church (in
facie ecclesie) was not necessary. In recognition of this
essentially lay aspect of marriage, the ceremony for marriage
when performed by a priest occurred outside the church --
usually in the south porch, which is one reason why the south
porch is so large, to accommodate the party. The priest performed
the ceremony in the porch. There too the ring was placed by
the groom for the priest to bless and hallow (sprinkle with
holy water). After that ceremony, the party moved into the
church to the first step before the altar for the nuptial
mass and blessing. The couple were covered by a fine linen
cloth (the care cloth) until benediction so that they were
the focus. After the benediction, the priest passed the pax
to the husband who passed it to the bride, kissing her.
Do couples in medieval marriages
love each other? Choice and attraction play some part in peasant
marriages, but marriage among the nobility is far too politically
important to leave to whim. Jealousy must have existed, as
proven by the double standard enforced regarding adultery.
In women, it was punishable by humiliation or even death;
men's mistresses and illegitimate children were often discreetly
overlooked (90).
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WOMEN |
Average
age of Marriage: 30
The groom's gift to
his wife was the dower, that may also usually consist
of land.
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Average age of Marriage:
14
Girls
are brought up to expect to be married. Only girls with
wealthy parents can afford to enter a nunnery, which
was the only semi-practical alternative to matrimony.
Any other career would be taken on in addition to, or
in spite of, marriage or monasticism.
Women
outnumber men; if women could not marry, they had to
find some way of supporting themselves.
When settling a marriage,
the bride's family gives a portion of land and/or money
called the dowry to the groom.
Because the redistribution
of wealth was a major consideration in marriage, a girl
with a larger dowry would be under more pressure to
marry well than a girl with little. But since women
outnumber men in medieval Europe, women often marry
men of lower status than themselves. In cities the situation
was much the same.
On her wedding day,
a girl wore her best clothes, and, with her fiancé,
led a procession to the church door. The ceremony took
place on the steps of the church. The wedding feast
was a huge party with food, wine and entertainments
which could last hours, days, or even weeks (Gies and
Gies, City 70-3).
In all classes, women
were expected to be subservient and to defer to their
husbands' wishes. It was within the husband's right
to beat his wife -- as long as he didn't kill her.
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